For the Fat Metalhead in all of Us
If you met Riley online or at a show, you may talk about the new Wolves in the Throne Room or Primordial or Agalloch. What you’d probably skip is dietary restrictions and a jogging regimen at six in the morning. But this metalhead is trying to lose some fucking metal weight.
“Being fat is dumb; being fat and into metal is even dumber. It’s a skinny person’s scene and we pudgesters try, with varying degrees of success.
Most of the time I feel like us fatasses end up making fools of ourselves. I always feel bad at myself for laughing whenever I see a fat kid in skinny jeans and a lip ring trying to pull off that deathcore kick move. I get where he’s coming from — when you already feel weird for being a lump of fat with legs, aesthetics can be an important part of “fitting in.”
But thank god Metal doesn’t give a shit. You’ve got a dude bust? What the hell is a ‘thyroid’? What the fuck ever bro; grab a beer and get as close to the speaker as possible. You know what you can wear to the metal show? Whatever the fuck you want. Metal loves fat guys, because we have more room for tattoos.
That being said. I’m sick and fucking tired of being super-sized, and have decided to start trimming the fluff off my body. Okay, that’s only half true. What actually happened is that I got drunk at a Fuck The Facts show and got conned into starting a weight loss blog. Now there’s pictures of my tits online, and I’m accountable.”