As I Lay Dying’s Tim Lambesis Gives First Interview Since His Arrest
May 17th, 2014 at 6:15am
As previously reported, As I Lay Dying frontman Tim Lambesis was sentenced to serve six years in prison for his role in a murder-for-hire plot directed toward his estranged wife, Meggan. Immediately after sentencing was announced, AltPress.com posted an in-depth interview with the vocalist in which he discussed the case, the events that led up to his arrest, and his future.
Addressing the breakdown of his marriage, Lambesis said the following:
“After our separation, I was only allowed to see the kids twice a week. And it had to be somewhere Meggan could sit in the distance and literally watch me watch the kids… It was frustrating to have my time with the kids limited and controlled. But I figured we’d get through it eventually. But it went on so long, by the time we had a judge make a ruling on custody, the kids viewed me as an outsider. It was like I was somebody that just visited them… Once I became like an outsider, like, this visitor, I was… They called me ‘Dad.’ But they weren’t really sure the role I was supposed to play in their lives. Not because I didn’t want to play a greater role, but because they thought that Mom took care of them and Dad was just some random guy at that point, and this was after awhile of me having this really controlled schedule. I told the social worker that was preparing us for the courts how frustrating that was, that I really needed more time with the kids, immediately. The social worker seemed to reassure me that I would get more time with them, eventually. Meggan wanted 100 percent custody. She was really honest about that. If it were up to her, I’d have nothing to do with them. She told me a few times she wished I was dead. Those are not unique thoughts for me to have. She felt those things toward me, too. Not that she would have ever taken it to the level that I did. But when she said those things, I thought, ‘She’s going to try to push me out of their lives. I need to get more time with the kids.’… When she realized I was working toward getting more custody, I think her next play was to win them over emotionally, to completely make me the outsider. Certain things started happening. One afternoon, my daughter asked my mom, ‘Why didn’t Daddy want to adopt me?’ My mom calls me over and we all start talking further. My daughter says, ‘Why do you go on tour? Is it because you don’t want to spend time with us?’ I told myself, ‘Well, these are natural questions, she’s just feeling some doubts.’ Later, that turned into, ‘Daddy goes on tour because he doesn’t want to spend time with us, and he doesn’t love us like Mommy does.’ It went from a question to a statement.”
According to Lambesis, the idea of murder for hire originated with his gym partner.
“This guy at my gym, my workout partner, I just expressed to him how sad I was. I asked the guy I had been buying steroids from, the steroid dealer, if we could meet. I’m talking to him in the parking lot one afternoon and I go, ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ He goes, ‘Pretty good, unless you maybe need me to kill somebody for you.’ Like that, right off the bat. I’m kind of like, ‘Whoa, what are you talking about?’ He goes, ‘Well I’ve heard you’ve been pretty frustrated with your wife…’ He just kind of had — I mean, he’s a steroid dealer. He has a sketchy background, you know what I mean? So I’m thinking, ‘Geez, where’s this guy going with this?’ He starts asking me these seemingly rhetorical questions. ‘Have you tried working things out with your lawyer?’ I said yeah, but it was going to be a couple of months before I saw the judge. ‘Have you tried taking them to a social worker? Like a counselor?’ I said yes and the social worker had met with the kids. He goes, ‘Well, you know your other option is I can hook you up with somebody that could do this.’ And he goes, ‘Can you think of a better option?’ He’s asking it like it’s a rhetorical question. I remember thinking at the time, ‘This doesn’t feel right. This doesn’t feel like my best option.’ But my thinking at that time… As much as I wished there was a better option, this is my best option. Obviously, right now, I can think of a dozen things and I understand the legal system much better. Legally speaking, there are emergency type things where you can get a judge to see you earlier, which I didn’t know. There are dozens of things I can think of now. But I just started to develop this mindset of, ‘Alright… I guess this seems like the path I’m going to have to go down.’”
The complete interview, which goes deep into his religious beliefs, his marriage and the adoption of his children, his weightlifting obsession, his relationship with his bandmates and record label, and more, can be read at AltPress.com.